So it’s been a while since I’ve been on here and am going to be more faithful at writing posts – lots of changes have happened! I moved from Mississippi to Atlantic City, NJ to Houston and we are finally settled in Kemah, TX. After a long break after Ironman Texas in 2012, I’ve started training again. We have 5 triathletes coming in this week and I decided, “sure, I can do a 70.3” however, this past week, has been total hell… I’ve maybe hit the lowest point in my body image negativity. I had the knee injury and after a while I think it was an excuse to be lazy. I know I can get through this half Ironman however, thoughts of Texas in 2012 keeps flooding back to me. The guy on the bike who said I could keep up and was a total ass – yea, I smoked him on the bike and he claimed it on the run but I knew what he was saying. The woman who came up to me from a water stop I so remember and said “oh honey, I’m just so worried about you…” I didn’t look bad – I had blisters, deep, nasty blisters on the second loop… and then the others who said what an inspiration I was… damn it people – I gained weight back then… and I may even dare to say, I’m a little bigger now… as much as I want to face those demons from an Ironman past, I don’t think Galveston will be for me. I’m at peace with the decision, difficult conversations have been had this past week and in those conversations I heard inklings of you should have dropped a few pounds, or you can’t do it (trust me, I can). I think if I heard all the crap out on the course again (in addition to what I’ve heard this week), I’d be in a dark hole so deep, I wouldn’t be able to get out so I think it’s best to be proactive here – continue training and find something shorter distance when I’m comfortable in my skin again… I think…